Helium
by Pudding Earl
Summary: DISCONTINUED / Lighter than air, it floats up. It floats towards Heaven, it floats with my hope, my eternity... 1827, 6927, mentions of other pairings. Rated M for dark themes and agnst.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Um, yeah. I'm the type that plans everything out but not stuff for individual chapters. In other words... I really suck at trying to plan each chapter individually. Turned out a lot darker than I thought it'd be...

EDITED. Accidentally put Reborn instead of Bianchi... now that made no sense.

- x -

Chapter 1

"Alright, Tsuna-chan! We're all done here! Just make sure you keep resting in bed, and I think we'll be able to get you out of here in a jiffy." Tsuna mirrored the smile of the nurse that was assigned to take care of him, Haru. She was always a bright and cheerful person, without any concerns or worries in life, it seemed. And that suited Tsuna just fine, as he didn't have much room for anything depressing after his... accident.

Or so Bianchi, the woman who had found him on the doorstep of her boarding house, had told him. According to her, Tsuna had went through a vicious attack a few months ago, and had been stuck at the hospital ever since. Tsna figured that Bianchi was telling the truth, since he was covered in bandages and various aches and pains, despite the softness of the hospital bed. But what bugged Tsuna was the fact that he couldn't recall the attack. If he had gone through such an attack, then he surely would have remembered it. However, no matter how many times Tsuna tried to think about what had happened, his blank would show up as a blank. Nothing was there. And the harder Tsuna tried to think, the more his head would ache. Eventually he stopped and just accepted it- what else could he have done? And anyhow, Haru had explained that temporary memory loss that might be a side effect of the surgeries Tsuna had went through, and seemed rather light-hearted about it. So for now, Tsuna had no reason to panic. And there was no point in worrying when he was on his way to recovery, anyhow. Besides, why would he want to remember that horrific attack anyways?

Somehow, something in Tsuna just wouldn't rest.

- x -

"What do you mean, Juudaimei's gone?"

The yell was accompanied by the sound of a fist hitting the table in anger. Yamamoto did his best to calm the storm guardian down, but Gokudera's rage was simply seeping out and utterly impossible to stop. Disbelief and denial were plainly written into Gokudera's actions. How could it be? How could his Juudaimei just disappear? Such outrage! How had such a thing happened in the first place?

"Exactly what I mean. The herbivore's gone." The cloud guardian's calm and icy words were a great contrast to Gokudera's harsh and loud words. His piercing look hadn't changed much throughout the years (except maybe become even colder). Hibari usually didn't even bother attending the guardian meetings, but evidently, the situation was much too serious for him to skip out this time. Another shadow was cast in the room- there was the _other_ Mist guardian this time, as well. As usual, he said little and seemed to pay even less attention to what was going on, though that was far from the truth.

Mukuro had never been friendly around Truth.

Gokudera obviously wasn't happy with Hibari's answer, however. "He's the fucking Vongola Decimo! I thought you Foundation bastards were keeping an eye on him as well!"

The words were a sharp sting to the dark-haired Foundation leader. His eyes spoke of his anger, and it didn't take long for him to slam the table in response. "We aren't at your disposal, _Gokudera._ I suggest you keep it down." It was only too obvious that the cloud guardian disliked being associated with the others.

"You shut your trap! Don't think you've got any room in here just because Juudaimei's gone!"

It was Yamamoto that grabbed Gokudera and pulled him back before the storm guardian could do anything else. "Calm down, Hayato," he muttered quietly in Gokudera's ear, hoping that it would be enough to soothe him. It seemed to work... temporarily. Unfortunately, Hibari's anger proved too much for him to control, as the cloud guardian suddenly lunged forward and grabbed Gokudera's collar, pulling him closer to his menacing eyes.

"I was never part of this so-called family. I have no obligation to stay here, either- do what you will."

Mukuro raised an eyebrow as Hibari thrust Gokudera back and released his collar, nearly causing both the storm and rain guardian to lose their balance and fall backwards. With a grace accompanied by anger and pride, the cloud guardian walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him with a sharp bang. The action didn't help the storm guardian's mood very much- it was obvious that Hibari's action worsened it. A string of profanities flew out of Gokudera's mouth, and Yamamoto had to drag his fellow guardian and long time friend out of the room to avoid any physical harm from getting to the other guardians. In particular, Lambo (now barely eleven years old) and Chrome were probably the weakest on the whole. Ryohei sighed as the two stumbled out, Gokudera's colorful language muffled now by the door.

"Tsuna's really gone, huh..." Ryohei muttered, looking around the room. Now there was only Lambo, now an eleven-year-old, and the two mist guardians. They were an odd lot- the boxer, with his rough, rowdy ways, Lambo, with his rather annoying but now a bit more mature ways, and then the two mist guardians. Chrome was sitting next to Mukuro, a worried expression on her face that only succeeded in making her look even more vulnerable than usual.

"Mukuro-sama... is Bossu* really gone?"

The other mist guardian only ran a hand through his hair while looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling. Did he have an answer for that? At this point, after all, Tsuna was simply gone- disappeared into thin air. Yes, he was gone, but... was he _gone_ in that perspective? Mukuro wasn't sure. He wasn't quite sure of anything, in fact, and this new instability proved to be rather alarming. Since when had he felt this unsure of things around him? For once he was honest in his answer.

"I don't know."

- x -

He was somewhere warm, soft, and for once, had a sense of security around him. Even as darkness approached, fear striking into his blood, something seemed to be there to back him up. Smoke choked him, and the scorching air burned as he tried to breathe, but there was something to back him up. There was the comforting feeling that he had something to fall back on.

But all of that changed now.

The flames that he had control over once now spread rapidly in a way that it had never done before. His hands felt like they were being baked by his gloves, and the scream caught up in his throat, stopped short by the fumes in his lungs. The fire licked ravenously up his arm, and he dropped to his knees, trying to bat the fire off without success. His hair singed, and the air was no better.

He forgot how to breathe.

He forgot the feeling of fresh air sailing through his lungs.

He forgot the meaning of control.

He forgot himself.

He forgot...

Forgot it all.

Notes:

*Bossu - Japanese pronunciation of "boss"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Last chapter was edited. I don't know what I was thinking... it wasn't Reborn, but Bianchi. And she has no affiliation with the Vongola in this fanfic.

Chapter 2

"Tsuna-kun! Rise and shine!"

The twenty-year-old cracked open an eye in response to the now-familiar voice. He doubted that he had been the type to get up early in the past, and tried to burrow himself back into his blankets but was quickly stopped by a sharp sting of pain. "Ow!" Tsuna yelled out, clutching at his side again.

Haru gave a light laugh, her face hovering over his for a moment. "Don't move around so much," she said, grinning. "You'll re-open your wounds."

_Well, thanks for telling me after I do that,_ Tsuna couldn't help thinking to himself as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. Tsuna eyed the tray that Haru had placed next to his hospital bed and made a face. Hospital food definitely wasn't the best in the world. He was sure that something ought to taste better than the plastic-wrapped microwaveable lunches that they had here. Haru, on the other hand, didn't notice Tsuna's discomfort as she hummed, walking over to the window to part the thin curtains. The light from the sun hit Tsuna's face, and he squinted, momentarily blinded by the intense light.

It was too bright.

"Can you close the curtains?"

Haru turned around, the light framing her figure in its morning rays. "The doctors said that a little sunshine works wonders," Haru said with a smile. "You'll get used to it." She ignored the doubtful look that Tsuna shot her and placed the tray of food on the table onto Tsuna's lap. "Now eat up." Tsuna did his best not to show his discomfort at the food, but apparently he wasn't that great of an actor. "If you don't eat, you'll be here longer," Haru pointed out. Tsuna nodded reluctantly before picking up his plastic fork. It still didn't look very appetizing.

"If you need anything, there's always that bell- nice and reliable!" Haru said with a wave before disappearing out of the room. Tsuna heard the door click closed behind her and turned his attention back to his food. He was sure that there was food out there that was more appetizing than the microwavable and plastic-wrapped meals they had here. But he did manage to force the food down, bite by bite. It was difficult to hold onto the plastic fork when most of his fingers were still bandaged up, but Tsuna would rather spill his food than have others feed it to him. It didn't make much sense to let others do the work that ought to have been his. When he was done, Tsuna shoved the plastic tray back onto the table next to his bed. As he did so, he saw a flutter of white drop to the floor. It looked too small to be a napkin, and Tsuna confirmed that it wasn't with one look at the one that was still on the tray.

Curious, he managed to edge over to the side of the bed and tried to lean over to try to see what it was. A stinging pain hit Tsuna's sides again before he went even halfway over to see, and he leaned back immediately, hand clamping over his abdomen again. It had been bothering him for so long- what now? His gaze wandered over to the electronic button that Haru had mentioned before. A touch of a button, and someone could run along to help him. But that was ridiculous. After all, it was just a slip of paper, right? Tsuna settled back into his bed and tried to make himself forget about the slip of paper. _Come on, you know that it's not that important._ A piece of paper, that's all it was! Why was he suddenly getting so into it? It was true that paper slips weren't supposed to be in his breakfast tray, but for all he knew it might as well be some accident. _Maybe the cooks wrote a note to themselves and left it there?_ Tsuna mused to himself. That didn't help his curiosity, however, as he now wanted even more than ever to find out what was in that note.

"This is a bad idea," Tsuna muttered to himself as he tried to lean over again, a little more slowly this time, to reach the paper. The pain came back almost immediately, though Tsuna concentrated on the paper and tried his best to shut the pain out of his mind. _A little more._ The hand that Tsuna had slipped under his hospital shift to press onto his bandages there felt a bit moist- something that Tsuna was attributing to sweat his hands might have had. _Concentrate._ Tsuna let out a strained, near-silent whimper as his fingertips neared the slip of paper. If he didn't get to it soon, he'd probably end up falling over- and that would be horribly painful indeed. Tsuna's forefinger touched the slip of paper, and he smiled a bit through his pained expression. Finally. Now if he could only get it a little closer so he could actually take it. However, the paper seemed to be quite elusive, and slipped from Tsuna's forefinger and middle finger to a spot a few centimeters away. Tsuna's eyebrows knitted together in frustration, and made a move to get it closer.

A move that proved to be, well, much too sudden. His hand had reached out far too quickly for the rest of his body to adjust and maintain balance, which sent Tsuna plummeting headfirst down the side of the bed with a loud crash. Tsuna let out an involuntary yell of surprise before his face fit the floor, fingers smashing into the paper and the floor at the same time. Through his daze and aching body parts, he could already hear the sound of approaching footsteps in the hallway. Oh, great- he was in for it now. Tsuna just had to make sure that he made a somewhat reasonable excuse- and getting a scrap of paper from the ground wasn't a great one.

"Sawada-san!" Apparently, Haru was busy, as another nurse rushed into the room. "What happened? Are you hurt?" Tsuna could see the soles of her white nurse flats next to him, and he grimaced before redoubling in his efforts to get up again. Though his ribs and head ached and screamed in protest, Tsuna managed to prop himself up on the side of the bed, panting a bit for air.

"I'm fine," Tsuna said, doing his best to force a smile on his face. "I was just, erm, trying to get out of bed to open the windows a little more." The lie slid uneasily from his mouth and left a strange aftertaste in his mouth. This nurse didn't seem to notice his uncomfort, however, and helped him up and back onto the bed again. Tsuna let out a sigh of relief and managed to rest back against the soft mattress and pillows again before thanking the nurse.

"Next time, if you need anyone, just call one of us," the nurse said, after making sure that Tsuna was alright. "We wouldn't want you moving around too much. Tsuna gave an embarrassed sort of laugh and smiled.

"I'm sorry."

The nurse nodded before leaving the room and closing the door. Tsuna sunk back into the pillows and withdrew from his aching fingers the crumpled piece of paper that had cost so much for him to obtain. His fingers fumbled to flatten the paper out as quickly as he could so he could see what was on it.

The paper was blank.

- x -

"Cloud-man, there's something I want to ask-"

"No."

Hibari cut Chrome off before she could even finish. For the love of God, he already knew what the woman was going to ask her- the same thing every other damn guardian had been calling him to ask for the last few days. At this rate, he was going to have to change numbers again. And this time, there would be no one back there of much value to convince him to either change it back or redistribute the new number.

"Please, Cloud-man... you know that we all need you- Lambo isn't even an adult yet."

"I'm not part of your 'we'," Hibari responded smoothly, hand straying to the cup of tea on the table. "I have no obligations to help."

Chrome had never talked very much with Hibari before, mostly because of his intimidating aura. Even though he was far away and that she was now much older and certainly more experienced, she found talking to him a daunting task. Before, it hadn't been so bad amongst other guardians and Bossu. But now...

"H-Hibari-san... please, with the Varia coming in as temporary advisers things are going to get out of hand quickly and -"

"More the reason for me to avoid such social events," Hibari replied, his voice taking on a slightly irritated tone. He had never liked the Varia much, and was known to get into fights with their boss, Xanxus whenever the two met and no one else was around to stop them from becoming too hostile towards each other.

"So... you won't-"

"No."

Chrome opened her mouth to try to plead the cloud guardian again when she heard the sound of the phone line again. He had already hung up. Sighing, she flipped the phone closed shut. She had did her best, after all, but even she had been unsuccessful. Handing the phone back to Mukuro with an apologetic expression, she leaned back into the sofa once more, hand covering her face.

"I tried, Mukuro-sama, I really did, but..." Chrome didn't know what to say. If only Bossu was around- perhaps then they would have a better chance. But if he was around, then that meeting would have never taken place, he and Gokudera's tempers would have never had the chance to come into contact with each other, and they wouldn't be in the need of a new cloud guardian in the first place.

"It's alright, Chrome. Figures he'd do that anyway." Mukuro's gloved hand covered Chrome's free hand that was resting on her lap. "I know him too well. Hibari won't be back until he is."

"But- Mukuro-sama, if he's gone as well..." Chrome's voice took on a rather panicked tone.

Mukuro gave a cold laugh. "Nagi, you have changed. Have you grown to care for the mafia?" The last word was spat out with a distaste that was hard to put into words. Chrome removed her hand from her face to look at Mukuro with a worried look.

"No, that's not it. I don't care for the mafia, Mukuro-sama. You know that."

Mukuro chuckled.

"People, then. The people."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hmm... is it "Juudaimei" or "Juudaime"? o . o I actually wanted to quit at this already, but then I got that wonderful review from **narutofweak**, so I'm back on track- for now. T_T ;; I am trying my best to write longer chapters- that does mean longer waits, I am sorry!

Oh, and just to answer your review- no, Tsuna's flame didn't reject him, though it does sound like that, doesn't it?

Chapter 3

"I hate it."

Various men were moving things out of an all-too-familiar office as Gokudera and Yamamoto watched. It had been two weeks since Tsuna's disappearance, and they were nowhere closer to finding him. They were all doing their best to ensure the safety of the Vongola now and hide Tsuna's absence for as long as possible. After all, if the other mafia families found out, then the Vongola would be a tight spot indeed. They had no leader to direct them, and if another powerful family- or, God forbid, powerful _families_- were to to attack, then the Vongola would certainly be done for. So, after much debate, yelling, and arguing, the remaining guardians and the other advisers had grudgingly allowed the Varia to help fill in. It wasn't exactly well-liked, but there were hardly any other options. So now, the large room traditionally reserved by the boss of the Vongola was being cleared out of Tsuna's things and to be replaced with items from Xanxus.

"I really hate it." Gokudera repeated, fingers twitching. "That guy shouldn't even be eligible to set foot in that place." The workers eyed the storm guardian warily, and rather fearful as well. They knew only too well of Gokudera's recent temper- it was even more violent than ever now, and even Yamamoto had trouble calming him down.

"I know." Yamamoto said, his arm wrapping around the storm guardian's shoulders to pull him closer. "I know." There was little they could do on the matter- especially not with Reborn running the whole thing. The baby didn't exactly relish the idea of the Varia's coming, either, though most had trouble figuring that part out.

"That bastard Xanxus better not-" Gokudera started hotly.

"Not what?"

A knife jabbed Gokudera lightly below his chin, and Belphegor smiled- his signature Cheshire-esque grin that spoke of no good and all evil. The smugness about him did nothing to quell Gokudera. "He may be a bastard, he _is _our new boss, ushishishi..."

The glare Gokudera shot Belphegor could have killed. "With _that_ kind of boss, there's barely any point of being here," Gokudera said through gritted teeth. Yamamoto's grip on his shoulder tightened considerably.

Bel withdrew his knife, but his smile was as smug as ever. "Then why stay? You know how easy it is for us to replace you, after all." Only too easy, in fact- the Varia had just enough members to fill in for all of the guardians if necessary- including a powerful Arcobaleno.

"The only reason I'm staying is for Juudaime," Gokudera replied viciously. "He'll be back one day. We'll find him- we will."

Bel gave a doubtful shrug at that. "In case you change your mind, the door's that way, ushishishi..."

That seemed to be enough to topple Gokudera's building temper. "Quit fucking with me!" He yelled, taking a step forward to lunge at the knife-wielding member of the Varia, only to be stopped by a pair of strong arms.

"Maa, maa, let's simmer down a bit, Hayato." Gokudera glared back at Yamamoto before reading something in the swordsman's eyes. His strength died down considerably after that, though he was still as angry as ever.

"Don't be so fucking smug yet," Gokudera muttered at Bel before he struggled against Yamamoto's strong grip to walk off. There was too much to think of. Too much- and Tsuna was one of them. Yamamoto let Gokudera go for once before heading off on his own. Although he did hold a sort of calm control over the fiery storm guardian that rivaled only with Tsuna's, he felt that there was something in Gokudera that needed sorting out on himself- something that involved the creeping up of guilt, remorse, denial, and eventually, a devastating sense of mourning. Yamamoto doubted he could help much with Gokudera's own inner demons, even if he had a closer relationship than most to the storm guardian- even if Gokudera wasn't ready to admit to that just yet.

Their boss was gone- possibly forever, and one day, they would all have to accept that fact.

- x -

"Mukuro-sama!"

In the white world that could only be accessed by them alone, Chrome called out to the man whose fate had been intertwined with hers for years. It felt like an eternity, and since then, he had been everything. _Everything._ Even now, they still had that intimate bond that words could not describe. Dark and light, mutualistic and parasitic, good and evil. It was not the bond of love, hate, need, or friendship.

It was the way it was.

"Nagi."

Whipping around quickly, she saw the outline of his figure before her. Her expression turned on one of worry nearly immediately as soft hands reached up to touch his face. No, he hadn't been like this earlier. What was it? Something was wrong here, very wrong...

"Is he dead?" The question dropped from her lips. Of course, he would probably have no idea, but she had no other reason to believe why he would be looking like this. His long hair hung behind him in the usual low ponytail, though it was tied far too loosely and strands had already broken from it. There was an air about him that she had only seen on him a few times before.

"I am not God." Mukuro answered, closing his eyes and placing a hand on Chrome's. "I can't exactly tell if he's alive or not. But as it stands..."

Chrome's eyes filled with tears, and her hands slipped from Mukuro's face. Things didn't look good indeed. From the way things seemed when Gokudera had walked into Tsuna's office on that fateful morning, nothing seemed to be the same.

"Do you know what this means?" Chrome asked, allowing Mukuro to embrace and comfort her.

"Kufufufu. That the Vongola is over, of course. We know well that he left no heirs. And with the Varia in charge... it all goes to Hell from here." The familiar sadistic smile graced the man's face, a smile that Chrome felt but did not see. She knew only too well that Mukuro could have cared less about the whole thing. Still, why was he looking so bad, then? If anything... Chrome had originally thought that he would be gloating about the whole thing- about how with the downfall of Vongola would mean the eventually large-scale mafia war that would tear itself apart within time. With Mukuro's hatred of the mafia, this was surely something that would make his day, perhaps. But now, it was almost the exact opposite.

"That's what you want, isn't it?" Chrome asked.

"Of course." The response sounded much too light-hearted and secure. "The destruction of the hatred mafia world. What more could I want?"

"Him." The answer slipped from Chrome's mouth before she knew it, and she regretted it as soon as it left her lips, leaving a bitter aftertaste on her tongue. It was probably too vague for Mukuro, but then again, the illusionist usually managed to figure out what she was thinking. Chrome could feel his arms tensing around her for a fraction of a second before they relaxed again forcibly.

Chrome heard Mukuro sigh. "We should leave, Nagi." Evidently, Mukuro was not going to talk about the matter and decided to change subjects instead.

"Leave?" Chrome perked up at that. Leave, as in leave here? Or was he speaking of something else? Mukuro seemed to sense Chrome's question before she even spoke it, however.

"The Vongola, I mean. There's hardly anyone left as it is. We won't make much of a difference." Chrome hated to admit that Mukuro was right. Just yesterday, Ryohei had announced that he would be taking Lambo back to Japan since the kid couldn't handle everything anymore. Besides, he needed a proper education, away from the chaotic mafia world. That left only Gokudera and Yamamoto now, besides themselves. After all, the cloud guardian had already pretty much forfeited his place and had not tended to anything remotely related to the Vongola besides his own information web- the Foundation. The only thing that perhaps kept him from straying too far from the Vongola familiga at all was the fact that he still had the Cloud Ring- other than that, the person and organization were entirely separated.

Chrome wondered if it would be best if they left. After all, they had little use now, since Chrome only attended meetings to sit there and plug her ears occasionally as Gokudera and Xanxus got into verbal arguments and dodge occasionally when Bel decided to use everyone as practice targets. Mukuro, of course, didn't attend meetings at all, as Chrome was afraid he would go into one of his devilish ways without someone to control him. There were practically only two someones who could do that, and one of them, was, well, most likely dead.

"... won't that be abandoning what Bossu has been working so hard on?"

Mukuro paused. "No." Chrome's expression clearly showed her confusion at Mukuro's words. "Have you ever heard what he has said before?"

Chrome frowned. What was Mukuro grasping at here? Thin air?  
"He said that he was going to destroy the Vongola."

Chrome frowned._ Yes, he had, but..._

"He's the idiotic type to follow through what he says. In any case... there's no reason for us to stay anymore. There are more important tasks to go through with now." Mukuro muttered under his breath.

Chrome couldn't help giggling a bit through the tense air, causing Mukuro to look down on the pineapple-haired girl curiously. "Like what, the cloud-man?"

Mukuro nearly bit his tongue. _The hell?_ "Nagi!" By now, the girl in question had already broken away in a rare fit of laughter, doubling over before giving a small wave to Mukuro.

"I got it, I was just teasing. But alright. You're right... there's nothing for us back at the Vongola anymore, is there?" Mukuro could have sworn he saw more tears in her eyes, but the shadows that had defined her figure and expression had already started to fade away into the white background.

Mukuro's eyes opened, and he found himself dozing off in a chair at an Italian bookstore. It wasn't too uncommon of him to sleep in such places, and the owner of the bookstore had gotten used to seeing the long-haired man taking a nap in the reading area for a while. _That Nagi._ He had a vague idea of where she was, but decided that she would be fine. He had already sent Ken and Chikusa as a precaution, though he knew that she was no longer the weak girl from the accident as before. Six years had shaped her into a more confident woman- surprising even Mukuro at times.

_She'll be fine,_ Mukuro told himself, though he wasn't feeling much less guilty. He had left her alone before and cut her off from his consciousness as well- so this shouldn't be anything new... right? However, this was one time that he was doing it for- well, more _personal_ reasons. For now, he would just put that thought to the back of his head and ignore it. He'd get back to Chrome eventually..

- x -

"It's time to change your bandages, Tsuna-chan!"

The words cut through the tweny-year-old like a hot knife through butter, leaving a raw, sticky wound behind. Bandages? No. He didn't want to. He didn't want to see the damage done, he didn't want to be able to set his eyes on himself. It was so much better to keep it hidden. And somehow, seeing the wounds... what sort of horrors would be laid bare to him? Tsuna didn't want to find out.

Haru saw the uncomfort in Tsuna's eyes and frowned. "Tsuna-chan! Haru is serious! If we don't change the bandages, then-"

"Bacteria can thrive there, and I'll get an infection," Tsuna muttered under his breath, eyeing the white bandages on his hands and arms again. "I know."

"Well then, what are you hesitating about? Don't be shy, Haru knows that you don't have any wounds down _there!_" The statement made Tsuna burst out in a rough shade of red and staring outside the window awkwardly. It wasn't that, though allowing someone like Haru to see his bare chest would be... a bit embarrassing. Tsuna doubted that he was the type to work out and such, after all, and letting a girl see how lean and- well, unmanly would be strange.

The wounds.

Tsuna squeezed his eyes shut as Haru appeared with a cart filled with boxes of sterile gauze and ointments. "Don't be so scared! Haru won't hurt you," Haru said, approaching Tsuna warily and watching his expression.

_He had to keep his eyes closed._

Soft fingertips brushed by his right arm, undoing the knots that held together the gauze. Tsuna winced, though it wasn't from any pain that was originating from there. Haru sighed. Tsuna was a cute boy and very kind, though he was a bit of a nervous patient. Bianchi must have had a hard time dragging him to the hospital if it wasn't for the fact that he was probably unconscious by them. She continued with her work, unravelling the bandages as quickly and as gently as she could. Scars were already appearing, the white and delicate skin contrasting greatly with the rest of Tsuna's skintone. It ran along Tsuna's forearm, and grew more numerous as it eventually blended into one huge scar near Tsuna's wrist. Haru didn't quite remember burn scars being on the list of injuries, but perhaps it was because she hadn't read it too carefully.

_Breathe._ Tsuna's eyes were still squeezed shut as he felt the bandages leave him, the familiar pressure of the gauze on his arm disappearing bit by bit. Now, there was his hand, and Haru was slowly undoing the bandages there, as well. He didn't want to look. He didn't. But curiosity was tapping him on the shoulder and his eyes were twitching to open. _No._

The scars grew worse on Tsuna's hand. There were few places where his old skin stood out against the pale scars. What happened? Haru thought that Tsuna had been beaten up or something- so why did he have burn scars on his hand and arm? Perhaps she hadn't read the report quite carefully after all. It didn't take long for her to apply the ointments and wrap up Tsuna's arm and hand again, keeping an eye on the brunette's pained expression. Had she been too rough, or...?

_It was hard to breathe._

"There, I have your right arm finished," Haru said, sounding as cheerful as she could. Tsuna opened his eyes a little bit, and saw that his right arm was indeed wrapped in new bandages. His gaze swept over to Haru again, expression taking on one of worry and concern.

"W-What did you see- I mean, how is it healing?"

Haru laughed, trying to keep things in a light mood for Tsuna. He seemed so nervous and cute at the same time! "It's fine, Tsuna," she said, smiling. "Your burn scars are healing just fine."

_Burns?_ Tsuna frowned. That... didn't sound right. "W-Wait... I thought Bianchi said I was beat up in a fight or something?" Tsuna asked, eyebrows furrowing together. Haru shrugged.

"I don't know. M-Maybe Tsuna-chan got burned by something during the fight?" Haru asked, hands still working at the stubborn gauze. Well... that was a possibility, wasn't it? Tsuna's mind worked at his stubborn memories again as he tried to pick out the memories from the blank page that was there.

_Burns... fire?_

A white cape flowed out from behind him, stained with blood. Heat seeped out of his hands and forehead, while flames licked comfortingly in his palm. He could feel the presence of others behind him, the presence of his friends. _Comrades._ A smile touched at his lips. He was never alone. Never. Not with them around. As long as they stood there to support him, he would never need to worry about the challenges that stood between him and his family.

"Gokudera." His mouth formed the name though he didn't know the words. _Who was he again?_

A concentrated, stormy presence walked up to him. "Juudaime?"

His eyes closed, gloved hands bushing by the stray long bangs that hid his eyes as the flame on his head burned even more furiously than before. "Let's go."

And then... it was a total blank. A blank that was suddenly filled with... pain. The pain... was back. Tsuna thrashed about, eyes open but still not seeing anything. His lungs burned with every breath. His arms throbbed with pain, his face felt like it was on fire, and then...

"T-T-Tsuna... T-Tsuna chan!"

Who was that again?

"T-Tsuna-chan! S-Stop... H-Haru c-can't..."

Dilating pupils focused again, and the dark shadows clouding Tsuna's eyes faded away. As they did so, he felt a stinging pain from his abdomen and then, as his eyes adjusted, the horrible expression that had taken hold of Haru's features. It took a few seconds for Tsuna to realize the source of her pain- his hands were caught in a death grip around her throat with strength that he never knew he had possessed. Already, the blood seemed to have drained out of Haru as she did her best to gasp for air.

Eyes widening in a horror, Tsuna let go of Haru, hands thrusting her backwards and away from him as he did so. Looking down with much guilt, he realized that the wounds on his chest and stomach was bleeding again. Not only that, but... his hand! Haru hadn't even gotten any time to re-bandage them, the jagged, irregular scars that ran up the length of Tsuna's forearm was starting to become increasingly frightening for him. Just what had he done? What had he done to deserve something like this?

"T-Tsuna-chan..." Haru's eyes looked at Tsuna in a way that she had never done before. Was he... some sort of monster? Why had he choked her? Tsuna didn't understand... he didn't understand anything, did he? Just who- no, _what_ was he?

"I-I'm s-sorry..." Tsuna managed to stutter out, eyes transfixed on his hand before looking up at Haru apologetically. She didn't meet his gaze, however, as her fingers brushed by her neck, sensitive spots already starting to bruise slightly. Suddenly, the realization dawned on her, and she slowly backed off from him, little steps at a time until she bumped into the cart with the gauze. From there, she gave him a look like that of a startled deer before rushing out of the room, door slamming closed behind her.

He was alone again.

- x -

A/N: Here is the link for the white cape mentioned (remove the spaces, of course). It's like a white version of Primo's coat, yesh? XD

.ru/images/attach/ c/1/58/959/58959229 _1273688523_ shiro. jpg


End file.
